Southern Critter Chronicles: Golf Course Gator Fight

The Southeastern United States of America has undercover maybe the most dangerous wilderness in the world. The Amazon, that South African bay with the flying great whites, then the deep south, that’s the order. I grew up on the coast of Alabama we have gator hunting and everything and this still is probably gonna make me take a 6 month timeout from getting in any river or lake. Two prehistoric giant reptiles just casually biting it out for all the glory. No thanks, I’ll hang on to that tube for dear life or just chill in the pool. How bout these asshole golfers? How disrespectful of it for them to make comments about how they can’t golf yet bc these gators are in the way? Guys ya’ll golf all the time, these gators are in the biggest territorial fight of their lives. Sure they have been in fights but odds are they crushed the other guy. This time its Carlos Zambrano vs John Rocker, two batshit crazy big dogs for all the marbles of alligator territorial intimidation. Take your hat off show a little respect and bet on it or something. These two studs just listened to daddy yankee/ACDC on repeat for an hour to get mentally prepared for this and now your bitching in the background is killing their adrenaline and those bites are starting to hurt a little.

PS. The she gator this is over must be Ratajkowski hot.

Do other countries actually do this 3 day work week thing?

If this is a thing I’m out. I love the USA and everything but this is a gamechanger. Think how different things would be. The majority of your life would just be trips and booze. Grind it out all day for 3 days, rent some cheap ass spot (that you would never be at), then save all your money for 4 day benders or road trips to wherever with your buds. Our country sets the tone. If we did it everyone would do it and then, boom, before you know it everyone’s happier no more war. Me and Carlos Slim just solved the world. Yeah he said it, but I gave you the implications. Some square companies would try to get ahead and work 5 days still, sure. So basically Carlos, my man, amigo, you damn genius, your in, your invited, come run our country. Just let us vote on the 3 day work week then you and your crew put it in writing, enforce it, and then just simply restore democracy and do what our other president’s do. Hell, you will probably do it better.

Nationals Vs Rockies Post National Anthem Staredown

Is this Rockies player kidding me? He must be the most talented baseball player in the world. That’s the only explanation for him making it to the big leagues given this showing of utter peasant cowardice. Like seriously, I played sports for a long time and the shit like this in sports or just life in general means ten times more to me than an actual sports game I’m in. The only time I ever gave max effort was wrestling for the basketball after the whistle or football under the pile. I’d die or get ejected before I gave up and this might as well be the same thing. So if this Rockies coward quit at the first sign of adversity with the ump telling him to get off then he must really not care about taking a 3rd strike on a full count in the bottom of the 9th. Get him out..If I was the manager I would be furious I would have rather him cost us whatever the hell the penalty would be for him staying than for him to embarrass the franchise like that. On that note, what would the penalty be? Guess they would just eject him. Therefore, who cares, considering his name wasn’t even mentioned in this blog once. (Idk who he is so he can’t be that good)